October 22, 2009Somethin you might notta knew =P"Behold,the former things have come to pass,And new things I declare; Before they spring forth I tell you of them." --Isaiah 42:9
101 Last Days Prophecies:
1) False Bible teachers would bring in heresies,have many followers,and cause others to reject God's Word (2 Peter 2:1-2) It is very common today to find people who reject the Bible out of hand because they have heard it misrepresented by a false teacher. 2) These false prophets would be money hungry,smooth talkers (2 Peter 2:3).A growing number of TV evangelists epitomize this.They twist the Scriptures,using misleading words,to make merchandise of you.
3) The Christian gospel would be preached as a witness to all nations (Matthew 24:14;Mark 13:10;Revelation 14:6).Today, portions of the Bible have been translated into over 2,300 languages and dialects covering over 90% of the world's population.
4) Global communications foreseen (Revelation 11:9-10;17:8). The Bible prophesies that the entire world will "see" certain events unfold. The invention of the television and the deployment of global satellite networks during the 20th century allow news to travel the world at the speed of light for the first time ever. Remember that in the apostle John's day,news traveled at the speed of horseback.
5) Mankind would be capable of destroying all life (Matthew 24:21-22). Consider that when Jesus made this prophecy the armaments of His day were swords and spears. But today,with nuclear,biological,and chemical weapons,it is possible to wipe out all flesh on planet earth.
6) The use of nuclear weapons anticipated (Zechariah 14:12). The neutron bomb melts (dissolves) its victims--just as God warned 2500 years ago-- "Their flesh shall disolve while they stand on their feet,Their eyes shall dissolve in their sockets, And their tongues shall dissolve in their mouths". This was unimaginable in Zechariah's day.
7) There would be a global cry for peace (1 Thessalonians 5:3). Never has there been such a concerted,global effort to bring about peace at any cost as there is today.
8) The Antichrist would use (false) peace to destroy many (Daniel 8:23-25). With all the problems facing mankind, multitudes are looking for a "savior" to usher in peace and prosperity without moral accountability. The Antichrist will promise the world and Israel such a peace if they follow him-- but his intentions will be sinister.
9) In the last days Israel would have a peace treaty in place that the Antichrist will confirm and eventually break (Daniel 9:27). Currently the world's governments are striving for an Israeli peace treaty.
10) Damascus would be destroyed (Isaiah 17:1,14;Jeremiah 49:23-27;Amos 1;3-5;Zechariah 9:1-8). Damascus,Syria is increasingly in the news and is extremely anti-Semitic. Many terrorist organizations have their bases in Damascus. God declares that they will become a ruinous heap because they have violently taken what is not theirs.
11) Chaotic weather would be prevalent (Luke 21:25-26). Jesus foresaw "the seas and the waves roaring" in the last days. He also likened these signs to birth pangs (Matthew 24:8). The Greek word odin,often translated as sorrows in Matthew 24:8,literally means birth pangs. Furthermore,the apostle Paul reminded us that creation itself will be delivered from the curse at the end of the age (Romans 8:21).And that "the whole creation groans and labors with birth pangs" (Romans 8:22). As delivery draws near,birth pangs always increase in both intensity and frequency. Therefore,the creation itself would travail as the time of delivery draws near. Of course chaotic weather is not new,but there are indications that we are witnessing an increase in strange weather.
12) There would be a move toward a global government (Daniel 2:40-44; 7:23; Revelation 13:7-8). The former Roman Empire-which encompassed present-day Europe-would revive and eventually dominate the world. The European Union has steadily moved forward in its attempt to unite Europe politically and economically. It has succeeded in creating a European parliament,a court,and a common currency.
13) Literal Babylon (formerly called Babel - Genesis 10:10) would reemerge in the land of Shinar - known today as Iraq (Zechariah 5:11; Isaiah 13). Saddam Hussein spent over 20 years rebuilding the city of Babylon. Today,with Saddam's regime overthrown,the international community is discussing how to rebuild Iraq.
14) The fact that God once flooded the earth (the Noahic Flood) would be denied (2 Peter 3:5-6). There is a mass of fossil evidence to prove this fact,yet it is flatly ignored by most of the scientific world because it was judgement from God on man's wickedness.
15) Increased interest in vegetarianism anticipated (1 Timothy 4:3-4). The New Age movement has swept the globe during the past 40 years popularizing this.
16) Many wars would erupt (Mark 13:7-8). According to Project Ploughshares,there are over 50 major armed conflicts in the world today.
17) Ethnic conflicts would be prevalent (Mark 13:7-8; Luke 21:10). Jesus used the Greek word ethnos to describe the last days' battles. Today, as never in history, we have ethnic group against ethnic group.
18) The earth would be filled with violence (Luke 17:26; Genesis 6:11-13). In the United States alone,violent crime has increased nearly 500% since 1960. Fifty years ago abortion (the violent murder of an unborn child) was illegal in most countries. Today abortion is legal in most countries and 50 million children are aborted each year.
19) Jesus foretold that there would be fearful sights (Luke 21:11). The Greek word translated fearful is phobetron, which can also be translated terror. According to the U.S. State Department, between 1981 and 2004, there were 10,605 international terrorist attatcks.
20) Multitudes would travel to and fro (Daniel 12:4). Prior to the Industrial Revolution,few individuals traveled beyond their community. Until recently,horse,foot,and boat were the only modes of transportation. Yet today we travel by bus, car, plane, train, subway, etc. Millions and millions are running to and fro just as Daniel prophesied 2500 years ago!
21) Knowledge would increase (Daniel 12:4).Today we are witnessing an explosion of available knowledge. With the advent of the internet, it is estimated that our cumulative knowledge is doubling every 5 years. This exponential increase is beyond what any one could have imagined!
22) Deadly diseases (which the Bible calls "pestilences") would be common (Matthew 24:7). Emerging diseases such as AIDS, ebola, Hanta virus, Dengue, West Nile, SARS, bird flu, etc., underscore this fact. Ironically,just a few decades ago, some scientists were forecasting that advances in medicine might soon eradicate deadly diseases.3)
23) The final generation would be open to receiving a mark on their right hand or their forehead (Revelation 13:16). Consider how the up and coming generation is tattoed,pierced and marked with all kinds of insignia.
24) A global economic system would exist (Revelation 13:16-17). This was unthinkable in the apostle John's day. Yet today,globalists in every level of government are seeking to unite the world. Connecting the world monetarily is crucial to their goal.
25) A man would control all banking and commerce (Revelation 13:17-18).Remember, this prophecy was penned 2,000 years before our computer-driven society. Yet,until recently,you couldn't have even dreamed how a person could control all commerce.
26) Famines would be common (Luke 21:11;Revelation 6:5-8). According to the United Nations, an estimated 852 million people were hungry in 2004. 27) Great signs from heaven prophesied (Luke 21:11). Unexplained phenomena in the earth and sky appear to be increasing. 28) The sun would scorch the inhabitants of the earth (Revelation 16:8-9). Though this prophecy is clearly a divine judgement on unrepentant mankind, it is interesting that a compromise in the earth's atmosphere due to nuclear war or other ecological disaster could facilitate this judgement. 29) The nation Israel would be born in one day (Isaiah 66:8) . ON May 14,1948 Israel became a nation. 30) The Jews would begin to regather in Israel (Isaiah 11:11-12; Ezekiel 37:21-22; 38:8). Over five million Jews have returned to Israel in recent times! This is unprecedented in human history. Never has a people group been dispersed for hundreds of years to every corner of the globe,and then regathered back to their homeland. Yet,God said it and He has done it before our very eyes!
31) The returning Jews would come from the north, south, east, and west (Isaiah 43:5-6; Jeremiah 31:7-10). Amazingly, nearly a million Jews have emigrated from Russia in the north. Over 90,000 Ethiopian Jews have emigrated from the south (Zepheniah 3:10). Since 1948,Jews have emigrated from Europe, Asia, the Americas, everywhere! 32) During the diaspora (the dispersion of the Jews to the four corners of the globe), Israel would become a wasteland (Deuteronomy 29:23-28; Ezekiel 36:8-11; Ezekiel 36:33-36). During the past 1900 years Israel became a nearly uninhabited, desolate wasteland. 33) Israel, once a desolate desert, would blossom in the last days and export produce to the world (Isaiah 27:6; 35;1-2; Ezekiel 36:34-36). Israel's increased rainfall and world-renowned irrigation technology have caused the land to blossom. Incredibly, as foretold, they currently export over 800 million dollars worth of fresh produce each year including over 200 million in flowers and ornamental plants! 34) Israel would prosper economically (Ezekiel 38:12-13). Amazingly, this recently regathered, tiny nation exported over 30 billion dollars worth of goods in 2004. In contrast, their neighbor Jordan exported less than 3 billion in 2004. This was inconceivable just a few decades ago! 35) Israel would once again plant vineyards on the mountains of Israel (Joel 3:18; Amos 9:13-15). Today, sweet wine flows from the Golan Heights and many other vineyards on the mountains of Israel. 36) The last days Jews would plant forests of trees. The Bible even specifies the variety of trees -- cedar, acacia, myrtle, oil, cypress, pine, and box (Isaiah 41:18-20). This has happened in our day after Israel lay waste for nearly two millenia. 37) The Hebrew language would be restored (Zepheniah 3:9). At the end of the 19th century the Zionist movement brought about the revival of Hebrew as a spoken language. In 1948, Hebrew became an official tongue of the state of Israel. Remarkable! 38) Jerusalem would be rebuilt on its own ruins (Jeremiah 30:18; Zecheriah 12:6). Since 1948, Jerusalem has been rebuilt on the old ruins -- exactly as foretold. 39) Jerusalem would be trampled by Gentiles until the times of the Gentiles are fulfilled (Luke 21:24). Since 70 A.D.,Jerusalem was trampled by Gentiles until the Jews regained control of the city during the 1967 Six-Day War. 40) Anti-Semitism worldwide anticipated (Deuteronomy 28:37; Jeremiah 29:18; 44;8). History confirms that the Jews have been persecuted as no other people group. Hitler tried to exterminate them,and the Antichrist will attempt the same during the Tribulation. Today,anti-Semitism is a global epidemic. For example, of over 700 General Assembly resolutions passed since the establishment of the United Nations in 1945, nearly 450 condemn Israel. None have been passed against any Arab country nor any Arab terrorist organizations! In other words, out of 190 nations in the UN, over 60% of all General Assembly resolutions rebuke just one memeber,Israel!
41) All surrounding nations would be united against Israel (Psalm 83:4-8; Zecheriah 12:2). This has never happened in history. Yet today, Israel is surrounded by Muslim nations sworn to her destruction. Muhammad said: "The Hour (last day) will not be established until you fight the Jews,and the stone behind which a jew will be hiding will. 'O Muslim! There is a jew hiding behind me,so kill him.' " (Sahih Al-Bukhari,vol. 4, b. 52, Hadith #177). 42) Jerusalem would be "a cup of trembling" to all surrounding peoples (Zecheriah 12:2) . Jerusalem is a small city, with no natural resources , no port, insignificant manufacturing and industrial capability, yet its very existence causes the surrounding nations to shudder. For example, UN Resolution 476 reiterates that Israel's claims to Jerusalem are null and void. As a result, most countries transferred their embassies to Tel Aviv, rather than Jerusalem -- Israel's capital. 43) Jerusalem would be "a burdensome stone" to all nations (Zecheriah 12:3). Almost daily the world news reports on the conflict over Jerusalem. The United Nations, the Vatican, and many world leaders want to make it an international city. However, God says that the city is His -- and He has given it to the Jews forever (Genesis 15:18; Leviticus 25:23; 2 Chronicles 6:6). All who burden themselves with it will be "cut in pieces".
44) Israel would be invincible (Zecheriah 12:6-9). Since 1948,tiny Israel has been attacked in 3 major wars ans 6 lesser wars, yet despite being vastly outnumbered, they have defeated all attacking foes. Even during the final battle, when it looks like Israel will be destroyed Israel will be destroyed,the LORD shall deliver her (Jeremiah 30:3-7; Zecheriah 14; Mark 13:14-20). An invincible Israel makes no sense -- unless you believe God's Word.
46) The Eastern Gate would remain closed until the Messiah returns. At Christ's Second Coming, He will enter Jerusalem through the now sealed Eastern Gate (Ezekiel 44:1-3). Today, as prophesied, the Eastern Gate remains sealed. 47) The nation of Israel, which had been divided into two kingdoms since the time of Solomon (950 B.C.) -- Israel in the North and Judah in the South -- would be one united nation in the last days (Ezekiel 37:15-22) . And so it is -- Israel is one nation. 48) The returning Jews would have no king until Jesus returns (Hosea 3:4-5). As foretold, Israel has been without a king for over 2500 years. Amazingly, not only is Israel no longer a theocracy, but today the Jewish state is governed by a democracy comprised of some 30 political parties. 49) Rebuilt temple in Israel anticipated (Daniel 9:27; 12:11; Mark 13:14; 2 Thessalonians 2:4; Revelation 11:1-2). The prophet Daniel, Jesus, Paul, and John all refer to the temple in the last days. Therefore we know it must be rebuilt. Preperations by the Temple Institute are nearly complete! 50) The temple sacrifices would be reinstituted in Israel in the last days (Daniel 9:27; 12:11). Daniel foresaw the Antichrist ending the daily sacrifices. Therefore, the Jewish sacrificial system must have first been restored in the last days. Currently,the Temple Institute has created the temple furniture, vessels, and priestly garments. There are also several hundred young Jewish men in training for the Levitical priesthood.
51) A red heifer without a blemish must be born and sacraficed to purify the temple of Israel (Numbers 19:2-9). The Temple Institute is actively seeking to acquire a kosher red heifer.
52) Though Israel would be the focus of many fulfilled prophecies, most Jews would remain blind to the fact that Jesus is their Messiah until the very end (Luke 19:41-42; Luke 13:34-35; Romans 11:25-26).
Posted on 10/22/2009 4:27 PM Comments (0)
September 21, 2009Well...HelpThis is just a letter I wrote to the man I love XD ^.^ ;) :D XD...='C...I haven't given it to him,yet,though...='C...I might not give it to him...in fact,this MAY be the ONLY letter I EVER write =O and don't give to him! =U...yes,if ever there wuz a letter I wood keep from im,it'd be this 1 ...=V =V =V =U =O =V =V =V...we'll see,though =/...=I in any event,though,w/o further adieu (it's french,I think.that's sad,I should know these things...considering,I'm part French!...LOL XD XD XD..N*E*Y), *here
Sat,9/19/09 appx.12am Well...it's been...2 months (actually,2& a half) since I've drank any alcohol...1 month since I've heard your voice (don't wanna think about how long it's been since I've seen your face... ='C...), and up until yesterday...it had been,well,I wuz gonna say a few WEEKS--but actually,I just realized that it's been exactly a month--since I've been in my yard (front OR back),(or on my porch/the roof of my garage, or anything like that)) at night...the reason I realized it's actually been NOT THREE weeks,but actually a *month* =U =O...is b/c (like I say,until Yesterday) the last night I was out there...was ALSO the last night I got to talk to you -- I remember that night...
Jermaine,sum 1 has tried 2 break into my house THREE times (that I know of for sure ...=/...=...) in the past 2 weeks...The first time was Friday before Labor Day(which,ironically Friday was ALSO my 2 mo. anniv. of not DRINKING =U...XD...:D...it's like...well,whatever,I'll tell you L8R...what I was about to say) ,September the 4th (you see,now,what I mean about it being my 2 mo. anniv. of being completely sober...have not HAD 1 drop of licqour...since July 4th XD)...I don't wanna talk about this anymore,though...it's been 7 years,this Christmas,since my grandma died...and this is the time of year,2 yrs. ago,that I lost the man I love/loved...over something I never thought/never *dreamed*/imagined ---even in my WILDEST dreams...=C.could have such a hold on me...it was either 4,,or5 years aga (back in Febbruary,which ironically,his BIRTHday was in Feb. =*C) that I lost my Uncle David (wow,it's hard for me to even say his name ! =U ... ='''C...well,THAT sux ='''C)(can't hardly believe that...I wanted to put an angry face here but I don't know how to make 1 just of of #s and symbols,so =/...=...) to Sorosis of the liver -- from so many years of drinking...I'm not really sure how to feel about this...it was also around this time of year,2 years ago.that one of the best friends that I have ever HAD =V X'C...moved to CHINA...she is an undercover missionary,basicly =/..., using her TEACHING Degree to do it...and I may never see her...or *speak*...to her...again ='C...it has been 8 years since I have seen my dad...and almost 11 years...since he has been removed from my life...he called me (don't know how he got the number...buuuut... he did :)...) on my,I believe it was, 21st birthday (could be wrong...could've been 20th,maybe even 22nd) to tell me "Happy Birthday" I'm SURE :) ='C ='''C...my mom hung-UP in his face...I never even got to talk to him...Jermaine, I feel like I'm losing my MIND =U ...thinking about you...how I...well,I can't say (and you know ! ='C)...thinking that...what if I never see you again?..."what if I don't mean anything like - what I long for- to him?"..."what if you mean absolutely nothing... to him?...and he forgets you like yesterday's lunchmeat,or something? what if you never mean to him what he means to you?...how will you cope?..." -- "what if he never sees you?...what if he never wanted to?", "am I worth coming after?"..."will he ever?..." Jermaine,I can't do this anymore,this is...Jermaine,I don't know why I'm tell YOU this... =V...more likely than not you don't even know what I'm talking about...I think to myself "what if you're not worth missing?"... "am I worth hungering after...panting for--longing for?...AM I...will I EVER be...WORTH this burning feeling in my soul...I feel for him?...will I ever be worth this unrelenting--continual...unquenchable (Song of Solomon 8:6-7;2:16-17,3:16-17) BURNING...hunger...that I feel for him,...for his LOVE?...for him to WANT ME! !,NEED ME...have his breath taken away by me!--cause he loves me much he can hardly BREATHE/*Speak*...will he ever *cry*--cause he's so in LOVE with ME ?! ='C...Will I ever be WORTH that?...TO HIM?!!! ='C"...I don't know...I don't...* KNOW*...and it's messin me UP inside... Hope(if only in myyyy- yyy dreams...:) ...:'(...HELP ...)
Posted on 09/21/2009 9:30 AM Comments (0)
June 16, 2009What's in a name? XD XD XDThese are just some Hebrew names that I've seen in the Bible (the more uncommon ones,not just ones like:David,or Rachel,or Jacob,or Sarah--that kind of thing,but ones like:Naphtali {Naff*tuh*lee} which means "my struggle",or Uzziel {Ooze*ee*el},which means "kid of the Lord",or Asher,which means "happy",or Elisheba,which means "consecrated to God"-- you get the picture--),and looked up the meanings of them on altavista.com.Some of them I really love! ^.^ I'll probably underline those XD:
Shiprah {Shiff*ruh} -- "to be beautiful" Puah {pooh*uh} -- "fragrant blossom" Zipporah {Zif*4*uh} -- "bird" Gershom -- "sojourner", "traveler", "alien", "stranger there" Aaron -- "mountain of strength" Miriam {Meer*ee*um} -- "Sea of Bitterness" Reuben {Roo*been} -- "Who sees the son" (I think they were referring to Jesus,as He is the son of God,and the Israelites/ Hebrews had been expecting Him for centuries before He came b/c God had been telling them about Him through the prophets) "Vision of the son" (another version says "Look!a son!") Hanoch {Hey*knock XD XD XD) -- "Dedicated" Pallu {Pal*loo} -- "marvelous", "hidden" Hezron -- "dart of joy", "division of song" Carmi -- "my vineyard", "lamb of the waters" (it is interesting,to note,that Jesus was referred to as "the lamb that was slain",and once when He was talking to a Samaritan woman, [the jews considered the samaritans outcasts,by the way] at a well [which was their main way of getting drinkable water back then],and He said "If you would've know who it is that asks you for a drink of water you would have asked me and I would have given you living water".He also said to her [as she was naturally confused] "whoever drinks of this water will thirst again,but whoever drinks of the water I will give him will never thirst again") Simeon -- "that hears", "that obeys",or "that is heard" Jemuel -- "right hand", "south wind" Jamin {Jah*mean} -- "God's day", "son of God" Ohad -- "praising", "confessing" Zohar -- "white", "bright", "dryness" (???don't ask me) Saul -- "demanded", "recquired of" Levi {levy} -- "associated with Him" (the capital H representing God), "affectionate one" (although the "Him" mentioned is God, when his mother named him this,she did so b/c she was hoping her husband would love her b/c she bore him this son. You see, he was married to her and her sister,(the he being "Jacob", the she being "Rachel",and the one who named her son "Levi" was "Leah")but he was in love w/Rachel.He had worked for seven years to recieve Rachel as his wife,b/c he was very much in love with her--so much so,that when he met her he kissed her and then "lift up his voice and wept" b/c he thought she was so beautiful.On His wedding night,though,his father-in-law-to-be got him very drunk and had Leah waiting for him in the bedroom/bridal chamber,instead of Rachel.) Gershon -- "his banishment" , "change of pilgrimage" (notice how one little letter can give a name a completely different meaning,i.e.Gershom means "foreigner",but Gershon means "change of pilgrimage") Kohath -- "congregation" , "wrinkle" , "bluntness" (again--don't ask me) Merari -- "bitter" , "to provoke" Libni -- "white" , "whiteness" Shimei {she*may} -- "my reputation" , "my fame" Amram -- "exalted people" , "handful of corn" Izhar -- "clearness" , "oil" Hebron -- "Society" , "friendship" (there is a mountain in Israel called Hebron,and it is actually where King David reigned for the first 7 years of his rule) Uzziel -- "strength of the Lord" , "kid of the Lord" Mahli -- "infirmity", "harp" , "pardon"
Posted on 06/16/2009 2:52 PM Comments (3)
June 14, 2009Horseradish:Bitter Truths You Can't AvoidThese are just some of my favorite quotes from Lemony Snicket's (The author of "A Series of Unfortunate Events") "Horseradish:Bitter Truths You Can't Avoid".Ironically enough, though,I find that most of His sayings aren't even bitter =O They're actually,mostly,pretty hillarious XD,I think.I've put them in the different catagories they're under in the book for your convenience ;) :
HOME
"The difference between a house and a home is like the difference between a man and a woman-- it might be embarassing to explain, but it would be very unusual to get them confused"
"There are some people who believe that home is where one hangs one's hat, but these people tend to live in closets and on little pegs."
"An old cowboy song celebrates home on the range, where the deer and antelope play, but anyone who has seen deer and antelope knows that when they are frolicking they scarcely look where they are flinging their hooves which is why cowboys have been pummeled almost to extinction" "One's home is like a delicious piece of pie you order in a resteraunt on a country road one cozy evening--the best peice of pie you have ever eaten in your life--and can never find again. After you leave home,you may find yourself feeling homesick, even if you have a new home that has nicer wallpaper and a more efficient dishwasher than the home in which you grew up, and no matter how many times you visit you may never quite cure yourself of the fluttery,homesick feeling in your stomach. Homesickness can even strike you when you are still living at home,but a home that has changed over the years, and you long for the time--even if such a time existed only in your imagination --when your home was as delcious as you remember. You may search your family and your mind--just as you might search dark and winding country roads--trying to recapture the best time in your life,so that you might cure your homesickness with a second slice of that distant, faraway pie, but your search will end in vain, as you have lost the map that told you where to turn, and the resteraunt has long ago burned down, and the baker who made the pie has gotten tired of waiting for you and has devoted her life to making tomato paste instead, but she is no good at it, and now you are lost in life, the darkness closing in on you, with nothing but a sad flutter in your stomach and a sour acidic taste in your mouth."
"An american writer of my accquaintance titled one of his books You Can't Go Home Again, but he was not necessarily talking to you"
Posted on 06/14/2009 2:54 PM Comments (1)
June 3, 2009MothersOkay--we aaaaall know how moms are famously prone to bragging on their own as though they were the most glorious thing anyone has ever laid eyes on (I mean more than any other child,that is).We ALSO all know how they will defend their child to the death without even knowing anything ABOUT the situation,=Owhich...ya know...can be either incredibly adorable,incredibly amusing,or incredibly aggravating,or ridiculous--all depending on what sort of a mood you are in,but I'm just NOW starting to realize to what insane proportions they will carry it. For example--from last June to January,2009 I was living with my cousin Mandy,who,although she is only four months younger than me,acts like she IS four months old sometimes,but I suppose I digress =P in n*e*event though...and we had some interesting confrontations (we had some nice,I guess what you could call,warm,fuzzy...=P moments ...but um...for the most part we had some moments that might remind you of an episode of "The Sopranos"--nah, I'm just joshin ya,but still...there's was a good deal of drama to be sure,and there were,indeed,times we wanted to WHACK each other...just not in the same sense of the word the Sopranos might've used it XD XD XD),and in the END I was brought to remember...that this was still the very same child ...that would put her head down and start making the most awful,...pitiful...crying sounds...and then when you would get all WORRIED about her,and ask her "Mandy,are you okay?" she would jerk her head up real quick with the most disgustingly hideous,impish grin you've ever seen in your life, and say "SUCKERRRR" (again the smile was...VERY...buh*huh* huh* *shiver* well I'll just say it: creepy *shiver*)yes,this was the saaaame child...the only difference?...she grew UP...yeah, so anyway,yes,nowadays when I deal with her I keep that in mind =/,but in n*e*event--this woman(IF you can call her that) is prone to some very ugly mood swings,temper tantrums,and emotional outbursts--PLUS,she was always borrowing my money and not repaying me and then threatening to throw me out n*e*time I didn't BEND to her WILLLLL! =U =V =O yeah,she was quite the delectable(I'm using kinder words here XD) nut =/...well,oneday me and her mom were talking and she was telling me Mandy's complaints about me,and how she was always trying to help people and getting screwed over by them,and,basically,for me to please not screw her over also. LOL XD XD XD as IF =U...heh...but movin on...so there's one ridiculous thing that I heard her mother say on more than one occasion,the irony never escaping me,of course o.O O.o...
Okay,so next scenario:One of my other aunts(who's really just Mandy's aunt,b/c it's her mom's sister,and I'm related to Mandy through my uncle--my mom's brother--not her mom), Martie,has three children: a 24(like me,almost 25 year old) year old,named Sarah(whose name,if you don't know,means "Princess"...now...we all love Sarah...but...well,let's just leave it at that...),who has a 7 year old,named Jimmer,whom her mother raises,and a 3 week old baby.Wait,now that I think about it she only has TWO children! =O--I was thinking Jimmer was her youngest child,but Jimmer is Sarah's son... okay,well anyway...Then I think her son,Ryan,is older than Sarah,but anyway...Now Sarah is rude,selfish,mean,ugly (behaviorwise,I mean),beligerent,hurtful...etc...she's rarely invited to social functions in the family b/c of the fact that she's so rude,and she always ends up saying something bitchy to sum*1--sometimes,even a child,such as my FOUR year old cousin,Taylor(Mandy's daughter,who is absolutely precious ^.^ but then again aren't they all? =...but this child...I love her so...but anyway).The other day my Aunt Martie,I hate saying this but,...she had to go over to Sarah's to make sure she wasn't ignoring her three week old baby girl ='C...so you get the picture?...and yet her mother,my Aunt Martie,said to me the other day--of my cousin Mandy and her mother,my Aunt Dena(who,for whatever reason,is my favorite Aunt)--"oh,yeah, they NEVER help Sarah!" (well WHO could BLAME them,lady?! =U...yet and still ='C...it really is all so sad =''C )
Then there's my mom: like TWO YEARS ago =U my (now ex-boyfriend--at the time pre-boyfriend stage of our relationship) FELL on my left thumb (which I am a lefty, but) and he came down on it with SO much weight, 170lbs worth to be exact,that I ended up having to have it put in a cast.Now, it was just a spraign(or however you spell that word--whatever, y'all know what I mean),but it needed to be put in a cast in order to heal back into it's normal...whatever!=O...I am SO tired of not being able to think of words!=U =V O.o o.O =P WHATEVER! =U UGH!...anyway...well,my MOM takes more than just a normal jealous mother disliking to Jermaine who is the light of my life,or at least always HAS been since we got together a couple of years ago (you know something?... I just realized it has actually been THREE years! =O oh my gush,wow--since he accidentally hurt my hand),and she swears up and down that he did it "ON PURPOSE!" she says (amongst other things I really don't care to repeat,or even take the time to talk about any longer),which he absolutely did not...to make matters worse,before he plopped down in the seat next to me (see he was perched atop the van seat in front of me and he just shy of six feet high,and I am just shy of five, besides the fact that he,at the time weighed in at 170 and I at around 105,AND the fact that he was sitting on top of the back part of the seat,up in the air,and I was sunk down in my seat) he said to me "move your hand",now...before he spoke those words to me I was dozing off a little I think,for I dumbly moved my hand as slowly as humanly possible across the air and past my face, like uh-duh "okay,why am I moving my hand again?"...just watching it move ever-so-slow-motion-like from one side of the seat PAST where he was about to plop his big,clumsy butt next to mine (which,I can't really judge cuz mine is just a small,clumsy butt instead of his big,black, delectably georgous one *.* ^.^ XD :D can't find the right face oh well),so of course,well, what actually happened was that his right armpit came down with the full force of his weight OVER my left thumb,which was poised in the air,being the dumbass that I am O.o o.O.
So,you see,it is flatly amazing to me...how,even,in the most ridiculously ridiculous of circumstances...mothers continously PERSIST in defending their emotionally disturbed,or emotionally void,spastic,drastic,freakazoid,did you escape from the nice place with the padded walls?,haphazard children...they seperate themselves from all reality of the matter,and continue at a sickening rate to see their children as always the innocent little angel who just,oh Woe is ME! =O WHY, O heavens! Why are you picking on that precious,darling,little innocent child?!...it's really kinda sweet,I guess...in a... disturbingly crazy sort of way...hmmm...in any event
I have come to the conclusion...that mothers are...ridiculous...
beyond all comparison...
just...
ridiculous...
Posted on 06/03/2009 11:15 AM Comments (2)
June 2, 2009Dribble mixed w/usefelnessThe top 10 things I've learned this year:
1.When(or if,whichever you like) a customer comes into your place of business--that is,not the place you own,but the place in which you spend your dreary hours under the name of work, in the last place on earth you'd choose to be,unless you were absolutely desperate for money (or were into some sick,twisted form of self-punishment/abuse to an hitherto unseen,and--in fact--OBSCENE...extent =U)A.K.A your job,if you will...and says to you "yeah,I'm one baaa-aa-aad Bitch",DON'T say "yeah,you ARE kind of a Bitch :D"...becuase she just might be very good friends with your boss,and have you yanked.=I
2.Mother's don't always care when they should.
3.Contrary to whatever ill-concieved notions of mother-child relationships are supposed to be like are floating around in your dome,or may be concretely engraved on your soul--mothers do not even always KNOW their own child,no matter how desperately the child may want to be known by this parent.
4.The two above facts can be almost shattering,if you do not have a personal relationship with Jesus Christ,who got up on o roman cross created for criminals and died for you.
5.No matter how much heart,and effort you put into avoiding them...there will,inevitably,be at least a few times in your LIFE...when there will,in fact,be not one earthling (human,if you will) around you who can relate to on an even halfway intimate level,or understand or dare-I-say,even comprehend what you're feeling or going through. (which,in my own personal opinion,is often due to their grave lack of interest,or concern for your livelihood i.e. quality of life/emotional/spiritual/mental well-being,but I'm sure is also in LARGE part due to the depressing fact...that A)they are not you,so they already can't understand the depth,intensity,and range of your feelings and how they effect your over-all health and progress in this life B)They're not going through --how and WHEN--you are going through it.)
6.You can fill up as many notebooks full of deep-felt poetry, songs, (every 1 of which may have even come from your own heart and not that of a stranger w/whom you just strongly relate through their poetry)journals,long-lessons,and great quotes,and inspirational thoughts/reflections as the largest library in the world could contain,but in the end,if you can't make peace with yourself,God,and somehow(please let me know IMMEDIATELY if you manage this next one,and please...leave a detailed description of how you were able to accomplish it-- any important factors that may be involved,such as--you can only come across it once every fifth leapyear when the sky is bright purple with little pink hearts all over it that all say on them "I love you,I love you,I love you!",with one great big one in the center with your name on it,and everyone is walking on their heads,with one shoe off and one shoe on,and both their hands tied behind their back)the WORLD...then you will find no relief.
7.Relief can be found in only one of three--1)God,2)His son, Jesus our savior,3)The Holy Spirit--which are rolled into One, known as "The Trinity"
8.Poetry,and songs and journaling and inspirational stories, music,and landscape/scenery can be helpful(i.e.used,and provided by God)
9.Quotes are good too sometimes.
10.If I don't impart to every person I can,while I'm still here on this earth,that God/Jesus is "near at heart to the brokenhearted",and,in fact,"binds up the brokenhearted",and that He sent His son to do so through His sacrificial death,and subsequent supernatural ressurection...then I have served my purpose in life,and I will not be content,and would be utterly unsatisfied if I failed to do so. XD
Posted on 06/02/2009 8:24 AM Comments (2)
April 10, 2009This one is,I guess, called "If you think you know me",or "sorry bout ya :D",whichever you prefer"If you on't know what color my eyes are sorry bout ya And if ya think ya know me (ha ha XD ) sorry bout ya And if you tryin to get me to play a part sorry bout ya and if you tryin to step on my scene sorry bout ya and if you tryin to get to my heart (maaaaaaan)sorry bout ya!
When I was just a itty-bitty somebody told me--anything I wanted in this life--I had to take it cuz they wouldn't give it to me Now I'm sittin' here, twenty three,some years on down the road,I waited patiently I'm sittin' on my scene,I'm the queen,I'm serene I keep it peachy-keen ;) Just go to show ya--some people wanna ACT like they know ya--Come to find out... they just wanted to own ya(ohhhhhhh!=O XD) Sooooorrry! what you're lookin at's private property ;),I'm the one that to get to me you got to go through Elohimi That's right!,so get to steppin'--Go on, do ya thin, an
If you on't know what color my eyes are sorry bout ya And if you think you know me
Posted on 04/10/2009 12:39 PM Comments (0)
What would you say?Well,I'm gonna finish that song I started writing the other day--I mean, it IS FINISHED,but I'll finish putting it on here later.It's just that it's so long I never feel like typing it all at once--but I will finish it. For now,though,I'm gonna type up some of the other songs that I've written in the past year b/c I know them by heart and therefore don't have to look at the words,which makes it a loooot eeeasier =U anywho, here's one of them called "What would you say?":
"Okay,so wait,so now lemme get this straight--so you say(you say,you say,you say): 'can't be a mistake things ended up this way' an you say: 'people don't change(don't change,don't change) still,you say,gotta be a reason I still feel this way, an I say 'I still think you my soulmate',now what would you say...
What would you say if I told you I dream about you almost every night? What would you say if I said 'I wish I could hold you tight?'... What would you say if I told you I can't get you out my mind? What would you say if I said 'I got to get you back in my life?'...
Now I know,and you know... God's always got His reasons,and everything has it's season... Still I got this deep-down kinda feelin(feelin,feelin,feelin) This love is more than just temporary,or momentary--Oh,Yes,love is really quite scary!oh,someone please prepare me,but what would you say?...
What would you say if I told you I dream about you almost every night? What would you say if I said 'I wish I could hold you tight'? What would you say if I told you I can't get you out my mind? What would you say if I said 'I got to get you back in my life'?...
back in my life...right here by my side...Yeeeeah-ahhh ...these are matters of the heart--think it should take somethin lil' bigger to tear us apart-- but it's not up to just me...if we swim or we sink,so tell me what you think(you think) and what would you say?...
(y'all know the rest ;)
Posted on 04/10/2009 12:19 PM Comments (0)
March 16, 2009A song I just recently wroteWhat the ...?MOTHER!... goose XD XD XD :D Ot-oh,here come mother goose Watch out y'all there's a goose on the loose mother goose on the loose y'all
Watch yo back cuz -- if you can fly, they gon try n clip yo wings Try to steal your voice, if they know you gotta song to sing -- This is real life y'all, This ain't no Dr.Suess: " One fish, Two Fish, Red Fish, Blue fish" Ain't no -- "Hey diddle,the cat and the fiddle, the cow jumped over the moon", and
Posted on 03/16/2009 4:31 PM Comments (1)
February 14, 2008This is actually just my career goal essay for my scolarship application and I'll probably erase it later today, if not right after I print it. LOL XD XD XD O.o =P XD :)
I have wanted to be a singer ever since I could even talk!...I feel like I can feel it in my veins...music is...my life... it's like breathing to me...if I can't sing -- I can't BREATHE...I feel it in my soul -- This is what I'm meant to do...with my life...This is so IMPORTANT to me. If you give me the SLIGHTEST chance -- you WILL NOT regret it. I feel music in every fiber of my being...I want this SO bad I can taste it, and I won't back down until I have my dream ;). Life is too short...to not go after what you love...and this...is what I love...I've never wanted anything more...THIS...will be the sum of all my dreams coming true...when I can get up on that stage...and share with my audience, what my heart beats for -- what it's all about for me...someone once wrote me a note telling me that my voice was "phenomenal", and in that note, she said "you have this -- ability -- to make everyone else around you feel what you're feeling when you sing"..."I can feel the passion behind everything you sing" she said "that's what I love about you"...that's what I'm here for -- that's what I wanna do with my life...I wanna get up on that stage -- or in that recording booth and I wanna draw people in...to my world...make them feel what I feel -- see what I see -- hear what I hear -- in the rhythm of life/love...and make money at it...:) ...I remember when I was a child I was like "wow! so you can get paid to do this? !" =O, and they're like "yeah :)...and the better you are at it -- the more moeny you can make doing what you love" :D... In conclusion, music...is everything to me...it's everything I feel... believe... know... see... hear...love...want -- have experienced in life...everything I am...and am about...and it comes out -- almost every time I open my mouth...no matter how HARD I TRY to hold it back... please...just take one chance on me...if you're not impressed...I'll walk away...no -- no, I WON'T...because I can't imagine ever walking away -- from this...I'll work harder -- I will be better...and I will -- get it right...;)
Posted on 02/14/2008 7:03 AM Comments (0)
January 13, 2008mmmm...oh, I don't know -- how bout the lyrics to a song that I wrote once "love hurts, life's not, but I know you're...somewhere...out there...:)"...I think that shall do for now :)...
woooow...=0...this feelz fuuuun*kneee...=...I haven't written a journal entry on this thing in so long that itz like...=...I don't know...feelz weird...=I...
This is just a poem that I wrote for Jermaine after we broke up (but I got a little shiver as soon as I started writing it and at every word along the way -- b/c I had a little epiphany to the effect that...=/...well, I feel like...like, I don't know...=/...like it wuz...farmiliar...to me...=I...it just gives me the chills --like it wuz in my head loooong b4 I wrote it or sumthing =... ANGEL BABY...MINE... Angel baby mine My chocolate surprise -- Man of my wildest dreams, Had the bluest brown eyes... He was like... Rain for the dry, dying crops that arrived Just on - time... Oh, angel baby mine... Angel baby mine... Wit' a love (so good) So real, so true -- big/strong/crazy/undying That it leave me so I can hardly breathe... He wuz my fruitty nut I wuz hopin' I could be his peach... This angel, baby,...mine.. Standing right at Twelve feet tall -- he wuz...oh so fine... Oh how I wanted -- WANT... long, yearn, NEED, BURN..to.. To make him mine... Wish I could go back in time... To see this beautiful strength -- this -- Vision fillin' UP my eyes... Arrive at this brilliance so bright It'd chase away the darkest night... Angel Baby Mine Had the bluest brown eyes that I have EVER seen... Tellin' you, girl -- it wuz like sweet dream -- Just kep' on steadily lovin' me... Sometimes his love it made me cry, sometimen' his love it made me smile-- But knowin' all the WHILE... This love, oh baby angel mine... Always give to me... Made me wanna -- and STILL -- it make me sing... His smile was like looking at a sunrise... With a will that never die... It wuz so STRIKING -- Like a flash of lightning... It wuz like unto me -- As a fish swimming UPstream -- Everythin' he did -- it wuz all so...beautiful to me... Girl, in MY eyes he could never do any wrong, you see? It's like this: (and you can believe what you wan' believe, but) He?...He my Ebon... And me? -- well, I'm Ivory -- Least that's way I'm hopin' A bright, new -- shiny day will bring IT to be... Girl, he wuz my EVERYthing --- Cream in my coffee -- Syrup on my ICE cream!... yeah, He put the "He" in "Hershey" ...my medicine that tastes so sweet -- My band-aid when I bleed... He got the cure for my ill -- whatever my pain, or problem be... He wuz my remedy... His love for me? -- Like a sea... so crystal, CRYSTAL...blue...deep... His love it swept over me... Like a sweet, sweet symphony -- In four parts, When he took me in his arms He loved me so, I couldn't help but -- I HAD to give him my heart... He wuz...IZ...ever WILL he be... My SECOND...beautiful mystery -- As ELOHIMI wuz the first, you see?... To me he's so surrounded in beauty... And quiet strength -- So enveloped in God, so completely... oh, angel baby mine... OH, how I've wondered... when, tell me when! -- oh when...will I SEE you AGAIN?... oh angel, baby, mine -- When will I know just where you have been?... Angel BABY MINE, I NEED your HELP... To fight and defend...oh... oh, angel baby mine... I make you this promise on these knees that are bent -- I will love you 'til the END of time, oh angel baby mine... ...'til the SUN don't shine... I will NOT give IN... With you I will NEVER PRETEND... o baby baby...angel baby mine... Say you'll be my best friend...AGAIN... I don't WANNA be without ---- I BELONG withIN!...
Posted on 01/13/2008 6:01 PM Comments (0)
September 14, 2007Rooms in the House that is Love...
Here's just some poetry that I gave to Jermaine (since it was written for/to/about him) and I haven't thought about it, looked at it, or seen it much since then, so... just now looked at 'em again, and got excited that I'm building like a big big BIG portfolio for Poetry! XD XD XD !!! =O ^.^ XD :D :D ;) :D XD XD XD :)...XD...so n*e*way, so here it is XD...;)...:D...:D :D :D...XD...:)...=P...^.^...:D...=P...:)...=)...
My lips are blue, Cuz this icing is too... I eat the cupcakes angrily, becase I Wanna be kissing you!... And these blue balloons --
With purples,and teals, and greens And they're beating me! Sometimes the wind can be so mean! Of course I know it's got nothing to do with the wind!... You just frustrate me so much I wanna scream!
I just my best frined... I want this to end!... Let's be us again! ='C... I don't wanna stay -- broken...
I thought surely by now, he'd know How much I just want to hold his heart... Erase the boards, and make a fresh start... He knows I tend to fall apart!... Why doesn't he just take me in hands arms?!...
He knows how much I need it... Once upon a time I said it... And it seems like I've just never had to repeat it... Ooh, I swear sometimes! Why does he have to be so connected?!... No,...I see it now...he too...just wants/needs to be needed... His heart,too,is bleeding... Oh Lord, please lemme keep him!...
Oh, do I love you... Like Heaven fell out of the sky Love you through and through But have to ask myself "why?"...
Why would you trade His best... For this world's mess? Why would you walk away When you know what it is to praise His name?
Are you not the same one Who siad he didnn't wanna trust in what could be undone? Why would you put your treasure in things that will not last forever?...
Why would you trade the truth for a lie? Throw your life away -- choose instead to die?... Why would you wanna waste The life that He gave?...
For you -- He passed through the grave For you -- no price was too great... Why would you choose the world's filth... Over the precious blood-gift that He gave?...
You won't find anything like Him in this world... Can't replace Him...with any cheap blow or fast girl...
Can't find anything like my Jesus In any little baggie... There's a difference between having joy... and just being happy... Nothing else will ever be enough...
Life can leave you feeling dazed... shell-shocked...distant...alone...out-of-whack, out of place... But to live a lie...it's not worth the price you would pay... When you feel like your life is fleeting your broken heart is almost dead...barely beating... Turned inside,ravaged, and openly bleeding... Why would choose a band-aid... When with open arms He waits... Ready, and willing -- He lovingly proclaims: "My anger lasts for a moment...but love for a lifetime...you see I am ful of love and grace..." All of your life, for your heart, He has been in a chase... And now,...He calls you to run a different race... He chose you...to look into His face... Close your eyes, open your heart...and feel...His warm embrace... For you...the world He changed... He loves you as His own, and calls you by name... The name that He gave... He calls you to something so great... It will blow your mind and carry it away...to His dwelling place... timeless,limitless...His love for you will never change... Yesterday,today,and tomorrow the same... On NOTHING you've DONE...is it based... sins of the past...cast away -- gone ... forever...erased... He brings healing and forgiveness...with His healing reign... His love for you will break all barriers...and is not chained...but to that... of His precious son's display... The blood that was shed for you on that day... Is the only thing that Has ever, his heart, set ablaze...
Been asking God for the courage to give this to you... Spent my life being half-way sure of what to do -- Didn't want you to think this way of life you Talked about was something I was looing down on - Just scared me to think you were that far gone... StillI know that's not what you want -- it's just a fantasy -- It's not who you wanna be... It's not who you are... You're like a trip to Mars... And back around the Milky Way You're the beautiful man who said my smile was like a sunny day... I have a hard time picturing the man Who held me while I was hurting And kissed my tears away... With a gun in his hand... Much less...putting me six feet under with it... But even if you could...I think I could forgive it...:)... It's kind of hard to hold a grudge.. When you find yourself suddenly standing in the sun...=)...;)...:)...
Posted on 09/14/2007 4:44 PM Comments (0)
September 10, 2007for Grandma...Hey Grandma,...:D... it's me, Hope...:D...it's been a while since we last spoke...;)...:D...I miss you!... ='C...some people might tell me (or think to themselves when they read it) "what's the point?!...it's not like she's here to read it!..." ...:)...but I say you are... :)...:D...XD...wow... there's a lot to talk about...=...well, let's see, uh...for starters... Jory got MARRIED! XD... she's beautiful...:D...I think you would love her...:)...Mom is still upset over some stuff you've done in the past (but I think she just needs to go on ahead and forgive you =... so she can heal...=...just like I need to go on ahead and forgive her ... for all the things in our past together that still hurt me ... =/ ...) to mess up relationships for her and uncle Marcus and uncle David (who is now with you...tell him I say "Hi :D" by the way...and "thanks for always being there"...I wish you both could've stayed a little longer ='c...wish we would've known...especially mom and Grandpa...and Uncle David and Uncle Marcus...and me and Jory...well, and just everybody I guess ='c...I think even Aunt Dena and her family miss you...Her mom, I don't remember her name -- who by the way seems like a real hard-ass... 'scuse my language, grandma, I'm sorry, but...=/...anyway... :I... -- says she bets she's the only person that got a Christmas present from you that year :D...seemed to mean a lot to her...:)...I'm glad...:)...'wish I could've spent that last Christmas with you that year...='C...but ...I have some memories that I'll hold on to...I have to admit the roughest thing about you being gone...besides, of course -- not being able to hug you and kiss you and laugh and talk with you and cook and eat with you and help you plant flowers or just talk to you about stuff or look at pictures or play cards or yahtzee with you :D...:)...;)...:D...is not always being able to remember exactly what you look like...like I used to...and I have to admit the scariest part... is sometimes not being able to remember what you sound like...your voice... becuase that was one of the most powerful parts about you to me...besides your walk, your laugh, your face, your...way with people...:)...your personality... :D...God, you were sooo...ALIVE... :)...ya know? :)...I mean like...you were just...WOW...like...RIGHT THERE...in everybody's face, ya know?...bigger than LIFE :)...:)...:D...heh...:D...you're really something you know that Grandma? :D...;)...:)...:D...XD...and I think I get a lot of that from you XD ;) =P XD...:D ...Meagen called Grandpa, I guess from California, not too long after uncle David came up there to be with you and God :)...it makes me so sad, 'cause I was sitting and right there and I could hear her voice and stuff and hear some of what she was saying and the stuff Grandpa was saying back to her, ya know?...=c...and like,=c...it just made me so sad, ya know?...'cause Grandpa was like...saying that she's a brat and stuff, ya know?...and like...that she was just out to get money or something like that...=C...it broke my heart...she didn't remember who me or Josiah or Jory or Mandy or my mom/dad, or Uncle Marcus/David/Aunt Dena were or anything like that ya know?...she said she just remembered you guys...:)...I told her that Uncle David loved them to death and missed them so much and talked about them all the time... :D...I told her that there were some pictures of them on his counter by the door that every time I went over there...we would look at them an talk about them (the pictures, and the girls in them...:)...his daughters...:D...) and then he would get all sad and put them away again...say he didn't wanna talk about but then he would always have this look, this...regretful...look...and he would say that if he had to do all over again...ya know? =/, and all that... =...she said thank you and that that meant a lot to her, I was glad I could do anything at all...=...)...I don't really know about all that, but...I think maybe it's true...partly...I don't think you really wanted to sabotage anything for them though... I really don't...I think you were just lonely =/...you missed your kids, and you wanted them back ='c...you thought that was the only way...=(...I don't blame you...no worries, Grandma ;) :D...I love you...;)...:D...so much XD...can't wait 'til we see each other again XD XD XD ... 'wish I had more pictures of you though...I'll get some more :D...I'll find a way ;) :D...until, then though :)...I have a picture of you (or two or three thousand :D XD ;)...) in my heart...;)...XD...:D...I see it in my dreams a lot of times :D...it's a lot more vivid there...XD...;)...XD...:D...XD XD XD...but any who...=...=/...=...but on this whole, Jory's wife thing...so mom would probably say something bitter and ugly like that you wouldn't like his wife either =/...or that you would probably try to get rid of her O.0 =/...too... so...=/...but I don't think so :D...=...;)...I think you would really like her :D...she seems perfect in some ways to me...I think you would be please :D...and happy for them...:)...they have a little girl :D...she was born about a year (maybe two...I can't remember...=...)... after you left...:)...she's precious...I only got to see her once...it seemed like it meant as much Jory for me to see her...:D...as it did to me...:)...she's beautiful...you've probably seen her, though ;) so I don't know who I'm telling X D ... LOL XD XD XD...=...anyway...:D...her name is Avery Pearl XD ... :D :D :D ;) XD...:D...and get this Grandma! -- ...she has YOUR SMILE!!! XD XD XD ... ;)... :D...:D :D :D... HOW is that possible?!...I do - not - know... but it's a miracle/blessing/gift/sign from God ;)...:)...:D...to me and Jory...:D...;)...:)...:D...he and I both said that...we wish you could've held her...:)...I'm sure you did, though :D...;)...:)...:D... God, I miss you, Grandma...but I see you in my dreams :D...:)...you're incredible...:)...some times I really believe...that you're really there somehow...or trying to tell me something somehow...you're with me somehow...:D...;) thands ;)...:D...love you, Grandma...:D...;)...oh yeah, and Mandy's got a kid too...:D...her name's Taylor...and her's and Avery Pearl's birthdays are both in November!...:)...just like yours and mine and mom's :)...:D...;)...our birthdays are all comin' UP soon! ;)...XD...:D...:)...:D...oh and guess what else?...:D...I just got a copy of my birth certificate the other day...and guess what day I was "registered" on ;) -- your birthday :D :D :D XD...=P...XD...but maybe you already knew that ;)...:D...so, you would've been...=...let's see, uh... =... =... seeeeventy-fiiive...or four... =...:D...happy birthday grandma...:)...an even better one than you ever could've had on earth, huh? :D... ;) ... :)...:D...;)...XD...=...anywho :)...I got a lot more to say to you, but right now I need to go check on a friend of mine real quick :D...make sure she's okay...and see if my fiance's home :D...:)...;)...:)...you would like him I think ;) :D...everybody else tries to make it seem/sound like you wouldn't...but I think you would :D...I know you ;)...:D...you would :D...:)...alright, well :D...I'll talk to you in a few, huh? -- okay? :D...;)...okay...:)...be right back ;)...
Posted on 09/10/2007 8:29 PM Comments (1)
August 14, 2007Random topics of interest =/
Shiprah -- "beautiful" ("to BE beautiful") Puah -- "fragrant blossom" Jochebed -- "God's Honor"
Posted on 08/14/2007 8:59 PM Comments (0)
July 2, 2007oh...you pick a name ;)...Well, believe it or not...It's finally happened...I've finally grown sick of my procrastinating ways, so I've decided to put an end to them XD -- This, then, is my attempt to do so...Now -- how successful I will be in my endeavour =/...we shall soon see,so...without further adieu XD... This is a journal of sorts, a different kind of journal -- in that, I am going to type the Bible -- word for word starting ofcourse in Genesis 1:1, and going on as far as my lazyass will =/ =I (I make no promises =/...) ...and when something strikes me as interesting or noteworthy that I have to say about -- I will! XD XD XD
Genesis 1
1First this: God created the Heavens and Earth--all you see,all you don't see. Earth was a soup of nothingness...
Okay -- it's a little early in the game to already be commenting, I'll admit =/ but all I wanted to say is that even though I love this version (The Message/The Remix) for it's clarity -- I just have to say that in this particular case (The Record of Creation), I really like the original better for it's poetic tendencies =/ For instance -- right here, where it says "The Earth was a soup of nothingness" -- in the original it said: "The earth was without form and void, and the spirit of God hovered over the face of the deep"...much better don't you think? = ...
A bottomless emptiness, an inky blackness. 2God's spirit brooded like a bird above the watery abyss. 3And God spoke: "Light!" And light appeared. 4God saw that the light was good and seperated light from dark. 5God named the light Day, He named the dark Night. It was evening, it was morning -- Day One. 6God spoke: "Sky! In the middle of the waters; seperate water from water!" God make sky. 7He seperate the water under the sky from the water above the sky. And there it was: He named the sky the Heavens. 8It was evening, it was morning--Day Two. 9God spoke: "Seperate! Water-beneath-Heaven gather into one place; Land, appear!"...
...Whooooooaaaahhh! =O...okay -- this is gonna sound really dorky =/ but oh well -- something just occured to me! -- as of yet, there was NO land!...so little puddles of water were,what? -- just? -- Hanging in the air? =V...whooooaahhhh...how cool is that?... =
...and there it was. 10God named the land Earth. He named the pooled water Ocean. God saw that it was good. 11God spoke: "Earth, green up! Grow all varieties of seed-bearing plants, every sort of fruit-bearing tree." And there it was. 12The Earth produced green seed-bearing plants, all varieties, and fruit bearing trees of all sorts. God saw that it was good. 13It was evening, it was morning--Day Three. 14"Lights! come out! Shine in Heaven's sky! Seperate Day from Night...
...I just noticed that there are more exclamation marks in that one sentence, where He commands the lights to come out in the Heavens...also, something else, it just occured to me that this is when He made the sun and moon -- I mean, when you think Day -- Light -- you think -- sun, when you think dark/Night, you think -- moon! but you have to remember that There was no sun, moon, stars, planets -- none of that!...until day four!...I think the way Day and Night are capitalized in this verse right here makes it all just come alive a little bit more -- at least I know it does for me =/ -- like when He tells the sun and moon and stars to seperate Day from Night, it's almost like characters in a play you know? but I mean...God...He's commanding nature here you know?...it's just so amazing...so...kewl ;)...Now that I think about it, I feel like humbled, you know?...in awe...like "Wow!... He did all this for US, you know?!...He didn't have to paint us beautiful sunsets, and give us seasons, and days, and months, and years, and flowers and just...beauty and splendor...and glory...everywhere we look...but He did you know?... and I'm just like 'Woooow...' ...'thanks, God...' and I just have to think: If His creation is soooo beautiful...How much more beautiful...is the creator?... =
...15Mark seasons and days and years, Lights in Heaven's sky give light to Earth." and there it was.
...hmmmm... I think that's enough for tonight :)...don't wanna burn myself out and quit too soon ;)...if I was -- say, going to bed -- what a beautiful bedtime story,right? :) ;)... XD...
Posted on 07/02/2007 7:18 PM Comments (0)
June 27, 2007A RANDOM ENTRY =PI...AM A SUPERHERO... MY NAME?... BROKENGIRL... Superheroe's attire: favorite ambrcrombie jeans ;) , fave (comfy, green) T-shirt XD, aaaand ofcourse -- NO shoes... XD ;) :D
...To be continued...
dunh dunh dunh dunh XD XD XD...
Tune in next time for the stories of LonerGirl =P
Posted on 06/27/2007 8:31 PM Comments (0)
June 16, 2007oh, I am soooo tired of having to come up w/ naaaames for these thiiiiiiingssss *pout* =SCan I just tell you... What I'm going through -- Since you let me go? Think you need to know... You mean everything In this world to me... Still so hard to believe... I'm standing here saying goodbye :'(... Telling myself "it'll be alright Just hold on tight, and Don't cry (echo: don't cry, don't cry, don't cry)
Feel like I'm just watching My whole life slip/fade away Never thought that I Would see this day... But here it is, And here we are And I try to hold it in As I watch you get into your car I stand there frozen And as I watch you drive away Oh, how the tears -- they run down my face And I feel right now -- like -- never anymore is it going to be okay And I've heard it all before But I choke on the words you say... And I feel right now... Like nothing can take away this pain... I stand here stunned...and I cry... And I pray for rain...
I pray for rain so noone can see... All the pain and misery... I cry, and I pray that noone will see... My heart profusely bleeding... I pray that noone (especially you) will see me needing...
And yet... I pray that someone will save me that someone will stop the bleeding That someone (especially you) Will SEE me needing... To be loved...to be held...
okay, next poem:
Oh, little girl: Put your tears away They'll be of better use On a later day
I know the pain you feel inside Nevermind it when they ask you why I see the tears you cry Come here and cry on my shoulder, I will make it right
You don't have to be afraid I will take away your pain I will burn the chaff away And carry you to my hiding place
I know you've been/are hurt But you don't have to hurt anymore Come here and let me hold you Here in my arms, you are safe -- be sure
Posted on 06/16/2007 9:33 PM Comments (0)
A poem that (I'm pretty sure :S) Jermaine's dad wrote -- for ME!!! XD XD XDFaith...Hope;)...Charity
A lady of splendor Young and tender With a will that kills And yet she is gentle Her sparkling eyes Of ocean blue Glitter as she looks upon you With an occasional smile And a countenance that glows This dazzling beauty Is a sight to behold Hope is the reality of all my dreams An open dam for a wondering stream ...Life without Hope... Is coffee without cream...
Posted on 06/16/2007 9:24 PM Comments (0)
June 14, 2007a couple of poems I just barely started working onsay boo I've been watching you Can I just tell you that I like the way you do all the freaky little things you do Sometimes you take my words away when you walk across the room I swear - there must be somethings getting through When I'm hungry you're my food When I'm stuck you're my muse When in jeapordy -- you always buy me a clue You're like _______ cuz you just go down so smooth Leave my tummy feeling soothed Lookin' fly with your gold grill and the diamond in your right front tooth Why don't you get us a corner booth I'll be back before you can choose Baby you're the finest thing on the MENU! But you like a RUBIT'S CUBE too! Irresistable, is what you are, like nothing I ever seen before! Baby, always leave me wanting more I'm watchin' every step as you walk out the door Wanna take you ON the floor Baby I'M so poor But you the richeset thing I EVER seen! You like a eighteen carrot diamond ring! Make me WANNA sing!!! Baby you could make me tell you EVERYthing!!!! And when you walk in the room, YOU'RE so bright, baby, I can't EVEN see! I don't EVEN know HOW to be! Baby, make a MESS of me!!! You are SO sexY!!!!! Ooh, you makin' it hard for ME to breathe! You like inFINity!! Times TWENTYthree! Baby you like a drug, wish I could buy you ON the street! Baby you ain't EVEN cheap! Get me so high -- start to think that I got wings! My BRAIN like YOU like DOPAMINE!!! You are SO serene Got me ACTIN' green -- Like AVRIL Lavigne! Baby KEEP it PEACHY keen ;) Got me singin' "so FRESH and so CLEAN" Ooh you're so fattenin'! -- Like BURGER KING!!! maybe MickyD's! You're the one I WANNA keep! Baby I'm tryin' to climb that hill to get to you -- it's BEEN so steep! Ooh, you got me hangin' on your every word/move -- I'm IN so deep! Got me actin' CRAY-AYZEE!!! They gon' lock me up and throw aWAY the key! Got these people thinkin' I'm some KIND of freak!!! But baby you are SO unique Got me HIGHER than the TOPS of the TREES! I got a taste for speed And YOU can fill my EVERY need You know just WHAT I mean I'm lovin' you like CANDY Baby you like a SUMMER breeze! SET my MIND at ease! It's gon't take YOU some TIME to see That I got WHAT you need I can be your QUEEN come and BE my King mmmm...your medicine is JUST so sweet and you so YUmmY! Got me sayin' "Yummy yummy yummy -- I got LOVE in my tummy" Want YOU so BADly You've had my 'tention for the LONGEST time Wanna MAKE you mine Baby, DAMN fine Got me rhyming like BUSTA Rhymes I ain't even tryin' to lie But you -- you got me flyin' high I ain't got no ALLABY Sugar, how you GET so fly? You like the apple OF my eye You the one - makes it ALL alright And I don't mind If it takes YOU a while For now we can spend our time just GETTIN' by I ain't in no hurry, you KNOW I'M down -- FOR the ride Baby want YOU for life Your LOVE it cuts me LIKE a knife I ain't tryin' to MAKE you cry Cuz you know I GOT my pride I don't like to let noone inside I'm just tryin' to let you know, you keep me alive Make me wanna LIVE, and not JUST survive Babe I like your vibes Got me thinkin' all KINDS of things I'm sorry it's taken a while for ME to see I'M the girl they WANNA be I don't ever WANNA leave Babe, I'll follow WHERE you lead Sometimes I can hardly believe -- How -- when I look at you and it's HIM I see His love's like poetry It makes me wanna sing HIS love it WON'T ever leave you EMPTY Makes me wanna scream Cuz He's been so GOOD to me He's cold like ICE cream He'll blow your mind and set you free Don't know bout you but I'm lookin' forward to eternity
second poem:
Here comes that boy with the pretty eyes Sometimes he makes me cry But oh, GOD -- he's man if I ever seen one Wish I knew if I was IN the plan For the woman with the man he's gonna become
See the one with the broken eyes He's been told so many lies That devil wears a clever disguise Never looks the same twice
Yeah, he's been taken for a WILD ride He done had one crazy life But that one -- He gon' be alright Cuz HE knows it's ALL in Christ Can't wait to see him in PARADISE And if I'll ever BE his bride I'll be thankin' the LORD that he TOOK the time
To think of me Love me so much that He would make my WILDEST dreams come true in ONE heart beat And give me something that'd make me wanna sing Somethin' that's got me fallin' in love like crazy That'd make me wanna be The one to never leave The one to see that this boy is heavenly So I'm on' need some wings Don't you agree? Oh, you know He's good -- and He'll give you a love that'll last for all eternity
When HE builds He BUILDS to LAST With one WAVE of His hand He'll take away the HURT in your PAST He'll be your joy and make you wanna laugh He'll set you on that path That leadest to the greenest grass He'll take you in and never let you go You know he's the sweetest fountain/river that flows You know His love's so bright it glows And He's the only one who knows Everything that hurts you so You know He loves you so Wants to make your hearts His home He'll keep you warm LIKE a coat NEVER leave you out IN the cold He'll have you sleepin' IN the boat
Posted on 06/14/2007 1:45 AM Comments (0)
Just a conclusion I finally came to the other dayThere's TWO SIDES to EVERY STORY...but sooooo much of the time -- ...we only see our own SIDE...we tend to think, like... "oh, I just TRY so HARD ='C" ... "What did I ever do to YOU? *sniff sniff* !!!..." and ya no "WHAT do YOU WANT from ME?!!!!" -- that sorta thing...but I've been thinking lately, ya no?...like they say (how) "what goes around comes around" (Justin Timberlake has been on the radio one too many times with that crap lately *eyeroll* O.0 *laughter* XD)...Ya no, I guess it all just comes down to what Jesus has been trying to TELL us - every since he DIED for us!...and what GOD has been trying to show us - through His son, ya no? - "love thy neighbour as thyself" ya no? and "DO unto others as you would have them do unto YOU?"!!! ...='c...and I'm just THINKIN'...that I don't wanna BE the kinda person who only sees their own side...I wanna be the kinda person that can see anybody's point of VIEW ! So from NOW on, I'm 'on try and shut my MOUTH...and OPEN my EYES!!!...try to SEE what's in front of me -- try to see the other person's side -- REGARDLESS...of whether I think they're being fair -- or NOT ya no?...Regardless of whether I think I DESERVE whatever they're saying or doing -- REGARDless of whether I FEEL that they are right OR WRONG?! ...Regardless of whether they -- HATE me -- LOVE me -- are INDIFFERENT -- undecided -- WHATEVER!!! ... and IRREGARDLESS... any hurt feelings or reservations that I may have...I'm 'on just try and put me on the backburn[er] ...and just try an' ALL[WAYS] reach OUT ya no? ... cuz GOD had reached down and touched me -- ...so I'm 'on make it my mission to always be reachin' -- BACK ,ya no?...
Posted on 06/14/2007 1:22 AM Comments (0)
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